tears of a clown

Instead of commenting on the Manny Ramirez-LA Dodgers freak show, The Onion has an article that says more about the situation than any current events article could say:

WASHINGTON—After a series of closed-door talks, Scott Boras, the agent known for representing the highest-paid players in baseball, set another record for the game's largest contract when he finalized Manny Ramirez's $20 billion agreement with the United States federal government on Thursday. "Manny's .396 batting average last season with the Dodgers, as well as his playoff performance, proved that he is as important to this country as infrastructure projects, health care, and renewable energy development," Boras said during an interview, adding that Ramirez is especially satisfied with the indefinite length of the contract. "He's promised to cut 47 hours of antics this year and to make necessary attitude adjustments in order to remain solvent. Any criticism Manny receives for this contract is simply what comes with getting a huge amount of money from the government during a time of crisis." A clause in the contract states Ramirez could receive an additional $6 billion if he successfully saves the American auto industry.

Scott Boras is doing his best to destroy what we all love about the national pastime. It is surprising that one of the most prolific hitters of our time could only manage to garner a two-year deal, though if he signs with the Dodgers he will be the second highest paid player (only to A-Rod) in baseball, getting $25 Million next season.

The Onion puts Manny's tears into the perspective of our current economic climate. Boras and Ramirez are trying to bleed every last dollar out of the Dodgers while normal Americans struggle to find jobs to make minimum wage and support their families. Though the Dodgers are not a victim here either. The true victim is the American public who has to endure this story on a daily basis, just to enjoy the game that provides a brief escape from the grindstone that is the American economy.